The struggle during this season has been balance. I waver between the anxiety that comes from the immersion into information required by my job and the dream world of avoiding the pain and suffering. Everyday I listen to the voice of families hurting in the midst of this pandemic. Everyday I offer words of encouragement, hoping that today my clients, the children within these systems, find ways to thrive and learn resilience.
It is tough to do this job in my sanctuary. I am not in my usual place of abode thanks to this damned pandemic. However, my home is where my family resides, so when I am with them I am in my sanctuary. This place of safety and restoration however has been invaded by my job. See, my everyday commute was a part of my ritual of putting off my day; physically distancing myself from the trials of others, leaving my files in my vehicle, not allowing clients access to my personal contacts. This was part of my coping.
With the situation being what it is, this has changed and it is affecting my mental health. I crashed this week, barely making it to the end emotionally, all my reports outstanding. Because I needed to grieve my losses, I needed to find new ways of coping. I needed to relearn how to protect my mind.
My balance was gone and ignoring it did not help. Slapping on a band-aid and moving forward, appearing competent, putting myself out there to be another’s support…..these were not working. I am reminded again, it is important to see what is happening accept it and create a plan to deal with it.
I am working on my new equilibrium for we are going to be in this for a while. The repercussions will exceed the life of this pandemic. If I am to live in the midst of this, protect my job, my family and my soul I need to find that sweet spot again.
God you are my strength through this all, . I ask to be filled with the knowledge of Your will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that I may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to You: bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power, according to Your glorious might, so that I may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled me to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light. Amen
This prayer was taken from Colossians 1:9-12.
I cannot walk this path alone, I trust in my God to strengthen me as we walk in it together.
MercyMe – Word of God speak https://youtu.be/LyIrr6NWjvk
Casting Crowns – East to West https://youtu.be/TnkkZLdjf9Y